É... Se

Yeah, if I had spoken up sooner, maybe it wouldn't have hurt so much
If I hadn't kept quiet about everything, swallowed every tear
If I had understood your silence as a scream
Perhaps I wouldn't have gotten lost in that infinite void

I kept putting it off, hiding behind a lame excuse
He said it was just a phase, but deep down it was just a crack
Of all the things I didn't want to face, your gaze pleading for help
And I, trying to appear strong, while my soul no longer listens

If I had said that I was broke
Would you have stayed by my side?
Or he would have left like everyone else does
When you realize that love also bleeds too much

Yes, if I had been less afraid, more truthful
If I had learned to show vulnerability
Would I still have your embrace, your voice?
Or could it be that, even so, the end had already come for us?

I ask myself this every day, but I already know the answer
Because when guilt weighs you down, it becomes a chain that clings to you
In my neck, in my lungs, in what I'm still trying to be
But if I wasn't the only one who made the mistake, why am I the only one left without you?

Yeah, if you had listened when I wanted to push you away
Not like someone who doesn't love you, but to try and spare you
From the chaos I carry, from the mess inside
Would you have left, or stayed anyway, slowly?

Slow, like everything we don't want to see end
Like a tight hug you don't want to let go of
You said you understood, but your eyes screamed
That each of my silences, little by little, was killing you

Did you see how much I was trembling?
To avoid saying what my heart was begging to say?
Or maybe you just got tired of waiting
Someone who promised everything, but never knew how to deliver?

Yeah, if you had said it hurt to keep quiet
Maybe I should have tried less to sabotage myself
But I preferred to miss the chance to try
Afraid of failing, afraid of loving you

And today I see your name, but I don't have the courage
From writing hi: To asking for another trip
Because when we hurt the very people who tried hardest to heal us, it hurts us
Forgiveness becomes an echo that no longer knows how to return

So, if I asked you for forgiveness right now, would you listen?
Or would you leave it in silence like I did every day?
It's strange how absence gets used to us
And since time doesn't erase it, it only makes it more present

Because even from afar, I can still feel your gaze
In every dream that keeps me from waking up
And even knowing that us will never exist again
I keep asking myself: What if I had managed to stop you?

Yes, if I could turn back time, I wouldn't ask for love
I would only ask for a chance to cope better with the pain
To not hide so much, to not run away from myself
To understand that even those who love can come to an end

But the end isn't about fault, the end is sometimes about lack
Lack of timing, lack of courage, lack of the right answer
And we had everything, except the right timing
Because I only understood your worth when I was already desolate

Yeah, if you ever happen to hear this here
I just want you to know: I still think about your hug
And it's not about going back, it's not about reliving it
It's just to ease the burden of never telling you

Even without knowing how to love properly
You were the most beautiful part of my heart
And if one day you remember us too
I hope you smile, even without knowing who's smiling

Yes, if love were simple, there would be no song
There were no tears held back in her breath
But since you didn't know how to take care of me, at least let me feel it
The pain you left behind is what still haunts me

What if this song outlasts our story?
At least let it help soothe your memory
That one day there was someone who wanted to deserve you
But he got lost trying to understand himself

Yeah, if I had been better
Maybe you were still here