why do i feel better when i hurt you?

Lola Young Lola Young

The Paradox of Pain in Love

Lola Young's song "why do i feel better when i hurt you?" delves into the complex and often painful dynamics of a troubled relationship. The lyrics explore the paradoxical feeling of deriving a sense of relief or satisfaction from causing emotional pain to a partner. This theme is introduced right from the beginning, where the singer suggests retreating to the comfort of bed to avoid confronting the harsh realities of their relationship. The metaphor of "throwing words like punches" highlights the verbal conflicts that leave emotional bruises, suggesting a cycle of hurt that both parties seem trapped in.

The song's chorus repeatedly questions why the singer feels better when inflicting pain, indicating a deep-seated emotional struggle. This could reflect a defense mechanism, where hurting the partner becomes a way to cope with one's own insecurities or frustrations. The lyrics also touch on the difficulty of accepting each other's true selves, hinting at a lack of genuine connection or understanding. The repeated line "always try to put you in the worst mood" suggests a pattern of behavior that is both destructive and self-sabotaging, as the singer grapples with their own emotions and the impact they have on their partner.

Lola Young's raw and introspective lyrics invite listeners to reflect on the darker aspects of love and relationships. The song captures the tension between love and pain, highlighting how unresolved issues and communication breakdowns can lead to a cycle of hurt. It serves as a poignant reminder of the importance of addressing underlying emotional issues and striving for healthier ways to connect with loved ones.

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