d£aler

Lola Young's song "d£aler" delves into the complex emotions of love, addiction, and the desire for escape. The lyrics paint a vivid picture of someone struggling with the weight of their emotions and the pull of substances as a means of coping. The protagonist is caught in a cycle of trying to stay sober while simultaneously drowning in misery, highlighting the internal conflict between wanting to break free and being tethered to past habits and relationships.

The recurring theme of wanting to "get away" suggests a deep yearning for freedom and a fresh start. The protagonist dreams of packing their bags and disappearing, leaving behind not just their physical surroundings but also the emotional baggage that comes with them. This desire to escape is so strong that they even consider leaving a note with a neighbor who is indifferent, underscoring the feeling of isolation and the need to sever ties with their current life, including their dealer, who symbolizes the addiction they wish to leave behind.

The song also touches on the enduring nature of love, as the protagonist admits to still loving someone as they did at nineteen. However, this love is complicated by the realization that it's not easy to express these feelings or to let go. The struggle to "get a grip" and the acknowledgment of spending time doing "a whole load of nothing" reflect a sense of stagnation and the difficulty of moving forward. Ultimately, "d£aler" captures the tension between the desire for change and the comfort of familiarity, even when that familiarity is destructive.