Maria

Maria didn’t care about being pretty
She wanted to read books, underline with a pencil
Wrote about a girl
In an innocent, passionate, and fragile way
The shyness of a life that’s off-limits

Her parents said she should be dating by now
They talked about João, whom Rita loved
And in her room, alone, she would cry
Is it true that imperfection
Is being different from what they wanted for us?

The family tells her she has a heart condition
And she didn’t want to hurt her grandparents
So Maria put on the dress, forgot the books, burned the letters
Had dinner with João and faked some moans
He says she’s his girlfriend

Maria was never happy, but she acts for her friends
A life that fits was written down
She has a ring and her parents applaud: How beautiful, how beautiful
She’s already sharing a home, cooking dinner
Picked a place and a dress to get married

And Rita now, when she sees her pass by, changes sidewalks, changes direction
Is love something to be treated, just like a sad disease?
Did God choose who we should love?
Does God even exist?

So Maria got married in a dress, toasted with wine, danced the waltz
Dissociated from João, who’s her fiancé
He says she’s prettier married
Maria takes pills

The long days don’t let her sleep
There’s a voice whispering in her ear
Telling her the way is just not to give up
She’s got a baby girl in her belly, the first one born
They say she hit the jackpot

But the taste of a prize is being true
Is pretending the whole time
One of these days it’ll turn real?
Loneliness lit up like a lamp
Illuminating the lack of will

So Maria lost her smile
Now her husband tells her he doesn’t want her
Left home on a Sunday, without a warning or a note
Maria faked a tear, turned the page, even changed streets
And now, with a grip on life, she wrote to Rita

I miss you.