Sin Ti

It was all laughter
Until my time ran out
Disappearing in a hurry, fleeting, without leaving room for I'm sorry
I had a moment of clarity
That was quickly followed by my neglect
Look at me, damn it
Can't you see what’s happening to me?
I’m dying again

"May the earth swallow you," it told me
While rubbing its eyes
I have no one left but my memories
And with this sadness, it got soaked

The sun is my moon when the night drags on
Doing nothing, seeing nothing
I don’t want my bed, it doesn’t even have blankets

Look me in the face and tell me what you see
Too much time not knowing what to do
If God sees me, have mercy
Make me fly free like a bird
Give me the key to find the door to you
The only one who understands me
I don’t care for my mind, nor my soul, nor my flesh
I struggle to sleep but even more to get up

Life, you are everything I dreamed of
And I never imagined that what you wanted
Was different from what I gave you
And now you leave me alone in this nightmare

And in this room, there’s still a heart
That misses what you used to do to me

I fight for your forgiveness, for the chance
To see you laugh again

You told me to face my fears
That fear would make me happy
You said I can do it alone
That I’ve made it here by myself

I’m not the same anymore
Miguel has changed since he tasted the abyss
I with my autism
With my desire to be alone out of pure selfishness

Tell me what you want me to do
If I’m even feeling cold, your side of the bed is empty
I’m not a kid anymore, I sail with this ship
But the water isn’t my thing anymore
I drink from myself, from my madness, when I lack tenderness
A thousand adventures that are left in the past
Past the hardest date

You told me to face my fears
That fear would make me happy
You said I can do it alone
But without you, I can’t live

Tell them that without you, I’ll never live
I can’t shine if it’s not by your side
I look out the window over and over
Hoping that you’ll come back to me

I don’t want to lose you, let me respond
To all the mistakes I’ve made
I’m scared again of disappearing
It’s how I feel without you, without you