Orgasmo

You told me you love me under the effects of an orgasm
God gave the gift of lying to the wrong lips
You left a mark
I told you don’t turn your back on me if I’ve already come on it before

A 'I love you' hurts me more than a 'I hate you'
The bed doesn’t remember the promises, but it does remember the good sex
I know you’re with someone else now
And I’m out here talking about you, putting on my shows, winning trophies

Hating you has been an act of self-love
Your absence had me sad and broken
And now being with you still makes me feel alone
The worst part about missing you is that I’m sober for five days

We turned tenderness into porn
All because we didn’t study the limits in each of us
I thought it was affection, but it seems like a disorder
This fucking dependency is a Stockholm syndrome

I know the language in which I touch you
Though in two naked bodies, we always question the 'what are we?'
Always at the end, we’d ask each other 'What are we?'
Now that we don’t see each other, we already know we’re nothing

We went from calm to chaos
Writing to you with my golden pen to your leaden eyes
Tell your dad he was right about everything
If I write like a madman, it’s because I feel like a lunatic

I let this horrible beard grow out
I want to look less like that man you forgot
I took you to my favorite spot, where you kissed me
Today I came back without you and saw how little we left behind

Tell them, the word 'love' became more than just a verb
Take it slow, I’m not talking about love, I’m talking about time
Saying goodbye is another way to say 'I love you'
I know how to give you what you ask for, but not what I want

We knew the backstory of our sweet little games
That seemed nice but were full of fears
Hang up your 'No', hang up yours first
Because once we hung up, the next day they didn’t call back

I lived with guilt and doubt
What would’ve happened if that bitch had hung up first?
That’s why I love you like I’ve never been loved
And I hug you with the strength that the others hurt me

I told you don’t leave like the others did
It’s not an irrational fear, there’s trauma behind it
I must be honest, it’s the moment
I know I slept with her, but I dreamed of you awake

You were my weak point, that’s why I left
I wanted to be the best in the world because I promised one day
And that Achilles' heel helped me choose
To triumph in this shit while I talk about you

And I live wrong, besides
I tried to forget you with someone else, and it just made me miss you more
If you made me feel alive, it’s because I was dead before
And now feeling is the problem at the moment

You left scars on my chest
Mind in war and body in a shootout
After seeing you with someone else, I’ve created a new pulse
I know it still affects you to have feelings for me

Loving me must be your worst flaw
And loving you in secret the best of my secrets
Which today I stop keeping by shouting it to the wind
They say the mills bring everything back

Saying goodbye was a close-range shot
It’s not what I feel for you, it’s what others don’t feel for me
I’ve completely changed until you don’t recognize me
With you, I proved that lies don’t have short legs