I Don't Know What It Is

Rufus Wainwright's song 'I Don't Know What It Is' delves into the existential quest for meaning and direction in life. The lyrics reflect a sense of uncertainty and a yearning for purpose, encapsulated in the repeated phrase, 'I don't know what it is.' This refrain underscores the ambiguity and confusion that often accompany the search for one's place in the world. Wainwright's poetic language and evocative imagery create a tapestry of emotions, from hope to frustration, as he navigates this journey.

The song's verses explore various aspects of this quest. Wainwright speaks of 'putting all of my time in learning to care' and seeking a 'locket of who made me lose my perfunctory view.' These lines suggest a desire to break free from superficiality and find deeper connections and understanding. The mention of 'slightly mysterious bruises' and 'friendly faces all declaring a war on far off places' hints at the personal and collective struggles that shape our experiences and perspectives.

The imagery of travel and movement is a recurring theme in the song, symbolizing the search for meaning. Wainwright sings about knocking on doors, taking new steps, and riding a train to unknown destinations. This metaphor of a journey reflects the uncertainty and hope inherent in the pursuit of purpose. The references to places like Santa Fe, Portland, and Lower Manhattan evoke a sense of adventure and the possibility of discovery. Ultimately, the song captures the essence of the human condition: the relentless drive to find meaning, even when the path is unclear.