Te Esforcei a Me Amar

I'm tired of trying, of pretending I'm okay
I stayed quiet in the dark just so as not to worry anyone
So much pain hidden behind a crooked smile
Heart beating slowly, feelings dead

I found myself fighting against myself
Seeking peace in such a dense world
You said you understood me
But each attempt was met only with more silence

I found myself giving you everything
While you were just taking what was left over
I dressed myself in strength, but inside I was dark
I waited for you even when you weren't coming back

And in the end
I tried to make you love me
As if love were being ripped from the soul
But your gaze spoke without words
It was never me who your heart was calling for

And I insisted
Until I lose myself
I did everything just to see you smile
But you just wanted to run away
And me? I just wanted to exist

Look, I understand that no one is obligated to stay
But why then did he swear to love me?
Was it just to see me fall higher?
And then they say it was just chance?

How many times have I repeated your name?
Like someone trying to convince themselves it's love
But deep down I knew I was alone
While I was calling you, you had already left

You weren't being cruel
She was only honest too late
But it still hurt
Because I gave too much of myself

I tried to make you love me
And today I understand that this is never fair
Love cannot be begged for, it cannot be snatched away
He is either born or he is not, plain and simple

And in the mirror I saw myself disappear
Trying to fit into a space that was never mine
But now I'm learning how to exist
Even if it's not yours