Obrigado Por Desistir de Mim

It's been a long time coming
That I try
And I can't anymore

How many times did I stay silent so as not to lose you?
How many nights did I drown without you seeing?
How many times have I said I'm fine when I wasn't?
Just to hold on to something I had already stopped loving

I pretended it didn't hurt when you disappeared
I pretended to be strong when all that existed was agony
I became a stranger to myself
Trying to be perfect for someone who was never whole

How many deleted messages did I fail to send?
How many screams did I swallow just to please you?
How many of my dreams have you ignored?
And I smiled just so you wouldn't leave

I grew smaller, almost invisible
My feelings have become imperceptible
But you never noticed, did you?
He never asked if I was really okay

You wanted someone calm, someone who would accept you
Someone who could endure your silences and become peace
But he never asked if I needed a hug
Or if I also had days when I just wanted to cry

I'm tired of trying to fit into a place that pushes me away
From fighting alone in a war that wears me down
I'm tired of looking for signs where there was only absence
To give my all and receive only indifference

I'm tired of trying
I'm going to delete myself so I don't bother you
To put your pain above mine
To die inside and smile outside every day

You said you loved me, but only when you wanted to
In your hour, in your time, in your cowardice
You treated me like a plan, and I treated you like destiny
And even then you still said I was difficult

But it was difficult to love you in silence
It was hard to bear your disappearances
It was difficult to handle everything alone
And still call you home

Remember when I said I was at my limit?
You laughed, as if it were a drama
But that day I just wanted to disappear
And you turned your back on me

Remember when I cried silently by your side?
And you didn't even notice?
Yes, I remember too
But I haven't forgotten

I gave you my fears, my traumas, my flaws
You used all of that as a weapon
He said I was too sensitive
But he never asked where so much pain came from

I got tired of trying to save you when I was the one drowning
To offer you the world while I was ignored
I'm tired of building castles in the sand
To think that love meant enduring prison

I'm tired of justifying feeling too much
Begging for crumbs as if they were signs
Today I choose solitude with sincerity
Instead of your presence with falsehood

I wished you happiness even though I was broken
I let you go even though you were broken
Because true love sets you free
But yours alone held me captive

And now I am no longer the same
I am the one who learned that love cannot be begged for
Those who love do not hurt
And those who hurt others don't deserve it

I'm tired of trying
I'm going to extinguish my fire for fear of your shadow
I silenced my voice so as not to scare you
I'm tired of crying over someone who would never cry for me

I'm going out today
Not out of pride, but out of self-respect
I'm tired of trying
And perhaps, finally, I have chosen myself

If you ever remember me
Remember that I stayed where no one else would?
Remember that I fought even when I was bleeding inside
And my goodbye was the biggest I love you you've ever heard