Lo Estoy Intentando

I'm trying to make friends with fear
And laugh out loud whenever I can
I'm trying to smile at every child I meet
And dive into every relationship like a diver
Believe me, I'm trying
I'm trying not to care that you're not how I imagined
I'm trying to play without caring about the outcome
To relax when I want to swing the bat, but it's busy
Believe me, I'm trying
I'm trying to be aware that the sun is still up there
I'm trying to control my anger
Not to gulp down and slowly savor life
I'm trying to tell the truth, and do it in the least painful way
To stop using the wheel and wear out more soles
I'm trying not to blame others when something goes wrong
To step on a more natural ground
To occasionally leave this rough and artificial city
I'm trying to learn to smile when I'm proven wrong
To stop pretending I'm crazy
To feel the energy of every little thing I touch
Believe me, I'm trying
I'm trying to draw smiles in my neighborhood
Trying to decide if I prefer eyes or lips
I'm trying to memorize every dream when I wake up
And walk without hesitation, because every moment of doubt is a dead moment
I'm trying to talk more with strangers
And not turn my head when someone stares at me too much
I'm trying to be neutral and objective
To take life with the perspective of not complaining even if I have a reason
I'm trying to write and live to write again
And make that circle a wonderful garden to exist in
I'm trying to be silent when I don't know what to say
To stand my ground and argue instead of bowing my head and fleeing
Believe me, I'm trying
I'm trying to feed invisible things
And fall in love with insignificant things
And not give importance to those things sold to us as big
I'm trying to think more about those who love me, laugh at my phobias
I'm trying not to let my heart race when those who hate me approach
I'm trying to accept that the world is not fair
And that others' resentment is logical
And that love withers if you don't water it
And that death doesn't warn when it arrives
And that those who play fair don't always receive support
I'm trying to spend more time looking at the stars
To drink more water, to hug, to kiss
And to show affection without an apparent reason
I'm trying to be more imperfect
To do the wrong thing, to be more reckless
I'm trying to release the clown I locked up
In the dungeon of shame long ago
Not to do something just because others do
To talk to animals and treat them as equals
I'm trying to be more foolish and thus love and give myself without measure
To be happy even if only sometimes and give meaning to this thing called life
I don't know if I'll succeed but believe me, I'm trying