Falsa Tuga

First date, everything's nice
She said she was Portuguese with a lot of pride
But then she ordered paella with chorizo
Pardon my French, this is gonna go bad

Pardon my French, you say you're Portuguese
But you don't know what a bifana is
You confuse pastel de nata with flan
And think saudade is a Netflix series
Well, may God help you, I can't take it anymore

We met at the café, I ordered a Delta
She ordered a caramel latte with almond milk
I asked if she preferred Braga or Faro
She replied: Hmm, Faro, in Spain, right?

She says Cristiano is Brazilian
And that fado is like a funeral song
Shows the flag on Insta with a filter
But has never stepped foot in a São João in June

Pardon my French, you say you're Portuguese
But you don't know what a bifana is
You confuse pastel de nata with flan
And think saudade is a Netflix series
Well, may God help you, I can't take it anymore

She brought green wine, but put ice in it
Said she loved cod with garlic aioli
Talked about her grandma from Puerto Rico
And thought Guimarães was a typical dish

Said she loved Lisbon vibes
But has never been on a CP train
Talks about Portuguese culture with emojis
But mixes up thank you with gracias at the café

I just wanted someone who knew
What a grilled sardine is
Who would say cool without shame
Who knew the name of at least
One song by Quim Barreiros
But hey, you're kinda cute

Pardon my French, you say you're Portuguese
But you don't know who Amália is
You said pastéis de Belém come from Belgium
And that bacalhau à Brás is a TikTok influencer
Well, may God help you, I can't take it anymore

Are you gonna tell me now that pimba is a type of sushi?
You're not, right?
You have a good heart
But Google Translate doesn't make you Portuguese
See you later, fake Portuguese
Well, may God help you, I can't take it anymore