Querido papá

You seemed tall, very tall, when I was very small,
you were my good giant, companion of my games,
while you counted slowly, I hid in the hallway,
and how we enjoyed when you finally found me.

You were big, you were very strong, you inspired great respect,
you were my magical horse trotting through the sky,
I stepped into your shoes trying not to fall,
I felt like the king of the world taking giant steps.

It was beautiful, it was very beautiful,
I remember it and I tell you,
you were a perfect example,
you were my best friend.

But one day, little by little, without knowing what the reason was,
you came home late and mom suffered with you.
Then I would wake up scared by your shouts,
you seemed very nervous, you never talked to me anymore.
Other times you hit me, your words were harsh
and my life was filled with fears and doubts.

It was tough, it was very tough,
I hated you and I tell you,
you were my fallen idol,
my torture, my enemy.

For me, carrying your blood was almost a sentence,
but in the end it was the same blood running through my veins,
and now, father, I write to you, like when I was little,
like when you held my hand through your dreams.

Now I am very confused,
I cry as I write this to you,
I have not lost hope,
father, be my friend again.

It was beautiful; it was very beautiful,
I understand it and I write to you,
how many times do I have to die
to be alive again.