Brutus

Brutus, terror of the neighbors,
you're my favorite dog.
What were they expecting from a Great Dane
who eats up my paycheck every month?
Brutus, get out of the pantry,
you're taking advantage of my kindness.
You've left us all without dinner
and no one dares to complain.

A biting dog
who's never been a barker.
A dog like you
doesn't bark at all because, Brutus,
your mouth's always full,
barking like that is just rude.

Brutus, a sound mind in a healthy dog,
my effort will never be in vain.
People have learned to respect you
by way of attacking and devouring.

Brutus prefers tender meat,
grafts of skin on many legs;
the calf is his weakness;
he swallows them down without even chewing.