Unproductive Life Plan

Omniscient and omnipotent with knowledge of all phenomena in this world
I'm thinking about so many things to ask you that I can’t write them all down
What on earth is life? What on earth is love?
Who on earth am I? I don’t understand it too, I can’t understand it

Standing there, unable to face this wall from afar called reality
I don’t think that’s some bad thing, rather there seems to be no way around it
If you have time to explain to someone, if you have much time for others
Suit yourself. Just stay away from me already

I’ve wasted twenty years, was this life worth it?

I’ve clung onto a thing that doesn’t exist: A good reason to live
Life was devouring, indulging in and outliving its time
We are the ones living right now, piling ego on top of ego
I can’t find something like a good reason to love
It was a fruitless life like I have never loved anyone
Let's put an end to this unproductive life plan

God’s power that entirely created all phenomena in this world
Why do you create such decent to useless lives?
That guy who was drunk on self-sacrifice, that guy who lived off other's misfortune
That guy who deceives people with his sophistry then kills someone with a straight face

I realised I’ve spent everyday sleeping, holding onto dreams and ideals
The universe, everything, and here– everything is rotting
The concept of religious idols, the brain of the girl I used to love
My nature, anything and everything, there’s no saving, there isn’t

There’s no good reason to live, said I who wasn’t happy enough
That’s the way it is, I spat out, throwing it away like it was too crude to handle
Even though I brag I don’t need it, I wanted to make a living
I didn’t need a good reason to love so much that I wanted to love
Even I can’t love myself, feels like my life was so empty
I just want it to end already

I’ve clung onto a thing that doesn’t exist: A good reason to live
Life was devouring, indulging in and outliving its time
We are the ones living right now, piling ego on top of ego
I can’t find something like a good reason to love
It was a fruitless life like I have never loved anyone
Let’s end this now, let’s create it with our own hands
Not anyone else’s

A life plan with no future