A Mi Lápiz

Today I talked to my pencil, asked it to be honest in front of everyone
It told me to let it all out, to let my mind cry
It asked who I was on the street and why I was so different when I was alone
Why I give advice to everyone but have no advice for myself

I responded with a simple gesture
Only you know this rascal, who chose to cling to his words instead of making cash pulling a trigger
Hating my first kiss, because if I told you, it still humiliates me today
And I never thought I'd find so much pleasure just brushing my lips against that cigarette

And for a while now, I’ve felt lost, I don’t even count how many times I’ve fallen
I keep promising myself a thousand things and carry the weight of not having fulfilled them
And at night I think about what I’ve been
And if they knew what I ask of God, that my loved ones never go hungry, even if I end up sleeping with myself

Mr. Pencil, it’s been hard to erase what I feel and ignore dilemmas
But I know you like the way I talk to you when things get extreme
Tell my mom who doesn’t believe in this, that she brought more solutions than problems
And even though she hates everything I do, I keep mentioning her in all my tracks

Mr. Pencil, tell me how not to lose faith, while my heart screams what my mouth keeps quiet
I swear I don’t know how to hide what can’t be seen, angel mind with a thousand demons in battle
Mr. Pencil, tell me how not to lose faith, while my heart screams what my mouth keeps quiet
I swear I don’t know how to hide what can’t be seen, angel mind with a thousand demons in battle

Time isn’t life, because life is scarce, though anyone can have time
And I understood that with broken knuckles in a hospital, in the waiting room
I asked the universe why it allowed my brother to die of cancer
And now I know he was an angel living among people who always ignored he was

Gloomy, sad, I smile
I don’t know how long I’ve been in trouble
At 13, for being so stubborn, I had to start finding my own
By 17, a challenge, hot streets make a cold heart
No vices, no girls, no homies, no pains, no healthy, no full, that’s an emptiness

Sometimes I don’t understand how I resist, where the strength comes from, why I don’t give up
And I think nothing hurts me for becoming a man before I felt ready
Only I know why I insist, I fear my soul when I strip it bare
And if God exists, why do you treat someone who trusts in him like this, even if they haven’t seen him?

I was for the kid who had talent, but got lost in doubt
And among people who don’t believe in dreams, I kept playing to be Pablo Neruda
Today I miss that kid while I see the man who greets me in the mirror
Wanting to turn back time to be the one who offered him help

Brazen mind, with nothing to lose, I still don’t know how to lie with my eyes
And I’d only be a gentleman for show, the pain with my mouth shut
My pen resting listened quietly and I felt the pleasure of crying in its ear
And let it stay between us, because once again I’ll have to go to sleep at dawn

Mr. Pencil, tell me how not to lose faith, while my heart screams what my mouth keeps quiet
I swear I don’t know how to hide what can’t be seen, angel mind with a thousand demons in battle
Mr. Pencil, tell me how not to lose faith, while my heart screams what my mouth keeps quiet
I swear I don’t know how to hide what can’t be seen, angel mind with a thousand demons in battle