Boku Ga Shinou To Omotta No Wa

Amazarashi's song 'Boku Ga Shinou To Omotta No Wa' delves deep into the human psyche, exploring themes of despair, existential crisis, and the search for meaning. The title, which translates to 'The Reason I Thought I’d Die,' sets a somber tone, reflecting the protagonist's contemplation of suicide. The lyrics are a poignant narrative of various moments and thoughts that lead the protagonist to consider ending their life, each verse painting a vivid picture of their emotional state.

The song begins with the protagonist reflecting on the melancholic cry of a seagull and the ephemeral nature of the past, symbolized by the waves. This imagery sets the stage for a series of introspective revelations. The protagonist's birthday, marked by the blooming of apricot flowers, becomes a moment of reflection on life and death, as they wonder if they could become one with the earth. The recurring theme of feeling empty and unfulfilled is evident, as the protagonist acknowledges their desire to be filled with meaning and connection.

Throughout the song, the protagonist grapples with feelings of isolation and the difficulty of forming and maintaining relationships, symbolized by the untied shoelaces. The mention of a boy staring at them and the apology to their younger self highlights a sense of regret and lost innocence. The protagonist's struggle with invisible enemies and the harsh reality of their goals being unattainable is likened to Don Quixote's futile battles. However, amidst the darkness, there is a glimmer of hope. The protagonist finds solace in the presence of someone who smiles beautifully, realizing that their intense contemplation of death stems from a deep seriousness about life. Ultimately, the song concludes on a hopeful note, as the protagonist finds a reason to appreciate the world and hold onto hope, thanks to the existence of someone special.