CJ Vs Niko Bellic

Epic Rap Battles of Geekdom
Niko Bellic vs CJ
Let's go

[Niko Bellic]
It's insulting that this fool thinks he can compare to my talent
If I count the blood from the bodies I spill, I lose track
The wars in Bosnia turned this Serbian into a violent being (ah)
Who is Niko Bellic? I'm a warlike dude
Give me a couple of guns and I'll wipe out your crew
Not a single one of my achievements is fake, homie
When my bullet hits, even Gay Tony knows, yeah
Wow, but if you still wanna play, Carl, you will
My Krav Maga will calm you down
Not even using the invincibility cheat will stop this from being just like the disaster of your remaster (yah, yah)
And your face will end up looking real bad

[CJ]
Ha, that's rich, I was born in the ghetto
And grew up in the streets
And now some punk wants to question my gangsta spirit?
Ah, shit, here we go again (yo)

You’ll eat dirt if you pick a fight with CJ: The baddest dude in San Andreas (yeah)
I got all the cops on my tail
I'm a luxury hotel, rollin' with Sweet and five stars
I saved Grove Street, built its destiny
You’ve lived under the thumb of idiots who did whatever they wanted with you (ah, ah)
So much American dream and the job you found is saving your cousin's ass (oh)

[Niko Bellic]
I saw you were slow on your train mission, bro
But you just had to follow the tempo, man (hahaha)
With how dense you are writing lyrics, I'm surprised you didn't sink Madd Dogg's career (uh)
The moment Big Smoke made that order (yeah)
He added an extra dose of betrayal to his content (ha)
Is he a bastard or a great friend?
If he took out your mom just to spend more time with you

[CJ]
So you wanna mock my dead?
Woozie, I know you're blind, but you gotta see this (damn)
You mess with mom's memory and from the heart, honestly (yo, yo)
I'll throw you from the heart of the happiness statue and you'll end up just like Tenpenny, with a C-R-A-S-H
I just gotta spell it out
That MC CJ is the fucking MVP of GTA, ha

[Trevor]
Oh, come on
You didn't think to invite the craziest pilot to a rap battle? (Oh)
Well, listen up, ladies, I came to spice things up
And show that nothing beats this dude from Canada, ha

[Trevor]
You two are old news
My game has been topping charts for ten years
Yours are outdated relics that don't mean shit compared to the shine that Los Santos gives off

[Franklin]
Well said, yes sir

[Michael]
Count on us, Trevor

[Trevor]
Ah, don’t think you’re my buddies (no, no)
Michael, you pretended to go to the hole
And Franklin, you even kill me in a game ending
So you four can kiss my ass
'Cause even though my last name's Phillips, I haven't shaved their heads (yo, yo, yo)
Johnny Klebitz learned it and his bikers saw it
If you piss me off, you’ll end up with your brains on the floor

[Lester]
(Kicking my city)

[Trevor]
And kicking the head of anyone who earns my enmity
In our developer, they love to pull crunch
And I'm just like them, an addict to blowing up

[Lester]
(Keeps the crown GTA-A-A-A)

[Trevor]
What other game has been at the top of annual sales for so long?
Sleeping Dogs, Saints Row, The Simpsons: Hit and Run?
If you're a sandbox, you gotta call us, have fun

[Jimmy Hopkins]
(Oh, oh, oh)
Oh, what do I see? (Uh) old geezers I don't believe (ey, ey)
Arguing over who's the best in this tournament
But I come from a school that was a whole coliseum
And I learned more than these fools of justice on the playground
You bet (yeah), remember my name, I'm Jimmy (uh)
Charming redhead just like Ron Weasley (ha)
I roll on a skateboard, scooter, or bike
In the halls, you’ll always see me with bitches (yo)
Your saga of huge reputation
Turned into an online game with constant updates (yah, yah)
Until a kid from my new generation showed up
And leaked the next installment of the new generation
What a bummer (woah, woah)
Now all the fans prefer to see my sequel on the PS5 in the living room
I don’t give a damn about your bully act
My mission is always to be the one who abuses the biggest bully, me

[Arthur Morgan]
Five guys acting like kids and a kid acting like one
If that's admirable, I’m out
Your empty brains have no clue about right and wrong
For that, let a outlaw speak

Arthur Morgan (yeah), I came to show you who's boss
What a bunch pretending to be real gangsters
My men would surround you like in a gangbang
And if someone resists among your gang: Bang
Those of us who were in Van Der Linde's gang
Have spilled more blood than Cash in Manhunt
And if tuberculosis hadn't taken me down
I know I’d still have the Old West in my palm (ugh)
But it was just that moment, my death
That made me embrace my regrets
For all those violent acts
That fed my pride and starved my time
And though I don’t regret what I lived with my squad
Of every failed robbery attempt
Of Cornwall and his grudge, or Micah and his betrayal (yeah)
I only take pride in saving my brother John's skin

[John Marston]
Hey, my life is a western movie
I'm the most wanted outlaw in the West
And I know I should leave this life behind even if it costs me
Dedicate it to my family while I light up another Chester
Fifty million on my neck, bet
If the sun rises tomorrow under the blue sky
Too many ties I carry like a cross, ha
My salvation and damnation is named Dutch

[Arthur]
It hasn't been an easy road

[John]
Ts, not for me

[Arthur]
And at this point, what do we do?

[John]
Just keep going

[Arthur]
Knowing we did something good for those we won’t see again
But that neither chaos nor fear are for bragging

[John]
Though that’s true

[Arthur]
Every time we’re mentioned
They have to recognize the greatness of our work

[John]
And of our disgrace

[Arthur]
We are lights and shadows

[John and Arthur]
That’s why, for video games, we are true Rockstars