Vivarium (ビバリウム)

How long has it been since then?
The muffled words still sound the same
The mirror reflects an ideal that’s out of reach
Today, my clumsy fingers are at it again

With someone’s words, I’m strumming alone
It can’t be helped, I’ve never been wanted
Behind the sticky red shouts, I question
"Is a flaw something special?" If so, it was fake from the start

In exchange for what I want to achieve
I’ve been breaking what’s important
Regret fills me, I can’t breathe
So I’ll toss my feelings aside and find some ease

How do I heal the wounds of a fallen heart?
Without knowing the regrets of mistakes I’ve left behind
Am I becoming an adult?

In this dim little garden
I endlessly dream of my own self
The light that swayed in the distance
Felt like it was calling me

Before I knew it, I turned around and found myself alone
Lost in a messy room, a mirage appears
Why do tears and anxiety overflow?
My fingertips, with their deep cuts, are stained red again

"I hear voices in my head, some are me, some are not"
"Repeating, denying the fact that I was born"
"Why can’t I do anything? Why don’t I know anything?"
"I don’t know, I don’t know, I just don’t know"
"I don’t know a single right thing"
"It seems I’ve become an adult"

"You didn’t believe in anything"
"You couldn’t trust anyone"
"What you needed more than fame was"
"Just a simple word, ‘It’s okay’"
"Sorry for losing my place"
"So it’s fine if you don’t come out anymore"

"In the depths of the swaying city, in that light"
"I heard the song of the mechanical girl"
"I want to go there too"

In this dim little garden
I endlessly dream of my own self
As long as we’re within reach
Don’t leave, don’t change

In this little garden
No matter how lost, how desperate, how invisible I become
The light that swayed in my eyes
Is the future I drew that day

Goodbye, I still have to
Sing

Because I’m not alone until dawn
You in the closet are still crying