心という名の不可解 (kokorotoiunanofukakai)

The sound of you blinking
Even the sound of you looking away
I can pick up on so easily

So, what should we call this illness?
It’s something no one should know
I don’t even expect to understand my heart

Not a single detail is off
Recorded in a zigzag of my personality
It shouldn’t mean anything more than that

So no matter what face I put on to smile
What’s not written in the chart
Isn’t worth believing in

That’s everything

I’m living with this heartbeat
I’m living with this heartbeat

That’s all

It’s ambiguous, it’s invisible
There’s no perfect treatment anywhere

Hey
How should I judge my emotions?
How should I discern my beliefs?
The unclear that can’t be proven
Keeps throwing errors and beating like a pulse

I don’t care about peace or comfort
It’s fine if it’s a life full of regrets
What’s the reason for this illness that clouds my eyes?

Messages that struck the tower of eternity and silence
How long do I plan to keep forgetting?

With fingers that connect tomorrow
I end up counting what I’ve missed
In this emptiness

I’m living with this heartbeat
I’m living with this heartbeat

The truth is

If you touch me roughly
Even the gaping void can be filled

This is the true self
Putting marks on my expressions
Love feels like medication
On a surgical table that can’t be dissected
I can’t find any answers

Not proving everything with formulas
The enigma called heart
And my inability to adapt

See through me

I’m living with this heartbeat
I’m living with this heartbeat

Teach me that there’s no
Endless dream here

How should I judge my emotions?

How should I judge my emotions?
How should I discern my beliefs?
The unclear that can’t be proven
Keeps throwing errors and beating like a pulse

No matter how many times I refuse or shake it off
You’ll just treat me gently again
What’s the reason for this illness that clouds my eyes?
What’s the name of this feeling?