Should Have Known Better

Sufjan Stevens' 'Should Have Known Better' is a poignant exploration of grief, memory, and the gradual journey towards healing. The song is a track from his 2015 album 'Carrie & Lowell,' which delves deeply into Stevens' complex emotions following the death of his mother, Carrie. The lyrics are a raw and intimate portrayal of Stevens' inner turmoil and his struggle to come to terms with his loss.

The opening lines, 'I should have known better / To see what I could see / My black shroud,' suggest a sense of regret and the burden of sorrow that Stevens carries with him. The 'black shroud' is a metaphor for the overwhelming grief that obscures his ability to experience joy and trust in his feelings. The mention of writing a letter indicates a desire to express and perhaps release the pain that he has been holding onto. The song also touches on childhood memories, specifically a moment of abandonment at a video store, which adds another layer to the sense of loss and longing for comfort.

As the song progresses, Stevens reflects on the immutable nature of the past and the futility of wishing for change. However, there is a shift towards hope and acceptance as he sings about his brother's daughter, representing new life and 'Illumination.' This suggests that while the past cannot be altered, there is beauty and light to be found in the present and future. The song is a delicate balance between acknowledging the depths of despair and recognizing the possibility of finding solace and meaning after loss.