Instead of Here

Mitski's song "Instead of Here" delves into the depths of isolation and existential despair, painting a vivid picture of a person who feels unreachable and disconnected from the world. The lyrics open with a metaphorical plunge into the abyss, symbolizing a descent into deep emotional turmoil. The knock on the door represents the outside world's attempt to reach the protagonist, but she remains silent, choosing to retreat into a place where "nobody can reach." This reflects a desire to escape reality and the overwhelming pressures of life.

The recurring presence of Death in the song serves as a haunting reminder of the protagonist's struggles with mortality and the allure of giving up. Death is personified as a companion, crouching beside her, suggesting an intimate familiarity with the concept of ending it all. Despite this, the protagonist continues to rise, indicating a complex relationship with the idea of death—both a temptation and something she resists. The line "I'm done after this" highlights a cycle of despair and temporary resolve, only to find herself back in the same place of emotional isolation.

The song also explores themes of self-worth and the search for meaning. The protagonist questions the value of her existence, looking to the stars for answers that never come. This cosmic indifference underscores her feelings of insignificance. The imagery of opening a "box of old friend misery" suggests a return to familiar pain as a way to feel something, anything, in a world that feels unreachable. Mitski's poignant lyrics capture the essence of feeling lost and alone, yet still grappling with the desire to find a place where she truly belongs.