Total Party Kill
 Colm R. McGuinness
A Chaotic Adventure: The Tale of a Total Party Kill
Colm R. McGuinness's song "Total Party Kill" is a vivid and humorous narrative that captures the chaotic and often unpredictable nature of tabletop role-playing games, particularly Dungeons & Dragons. The song tells the story of a group of adventurers who find themselves in a dire situation, having underestimated their opponent—a lich, a powerful undead sorcerer. The lyrics are filled with vivid imagery and dark humor, as the party members face overwhelming odds and ultimately meet their demise.
The song is rich with references to common elements of role-playing games, such as character classes like the Healer, Rogue, Bard, and Paladin. These characters, each with their unique abilities, are portrayed in a light-hearted yet tragic manner as they fall one by one in the battle. The narrative is infused with a sense of camaraderie and bravery, as the characters continue to fight despite knowing their fate is sealed. The repeated phrase "down to the line" emphasizes the desperation and finality of their situation.
McGuinness's storytelling is both engaging and relatable for fans of role-playing games, capturing the essence of a "Total Party Kill"—a scenario where all members of a party are defeated. The song also touches on themes of love and sacrifice, as the protagonist shares a poignant moment with the Paladin, highlighting the bonds formed during such adventures. The song's playful tone and clever wordplay make it an entertaining tribute to the highs and lows of gaming, resonating with anyone who has experienced the thrill of a tabletop campaign gone awry.