WHEN I WAS OLDER

Billie Eilish's song "WHEN I WAS OLDER" is a haunting reflection on change, memory, and identity. The lyrics evoke a sense of nostalgia and loss, as the speaker reminisces about a past self that seems distant and disconnected from the present. The metaphor of being a sailor on the open sea represents a time of freedom and exploration, which contrasts sharply with the current state of being 'underwater'—a possible allusion to feeling overwhelmed or submerged by life's challenges.

The song's chorus, with its dreamy and introspective tone, suggests a longing for a simpler time when relationships were uncomplicated ('where you and I remain the best of friends'). However, there's an acknowledgment of the inevitable transformation that occurs over time ('Like all we ever do is see how far it bends / Before it breaks in half and then / We bend it back again'). This bending and breaking could symbolize the trials and tribulations that test the resilience of relationships and the self.

Eilish's lyrics also touch on the theme of fame and its isolating effects ('You'd really like it in the limelight / You'd sympathize with all the bad guys'). The artist reflects on the loneliness that accompanies public scrutiny and the struggle to maintain authenticity ('I'm still a victim in my own right / But I'm the villain in my own eyes'). The song, therefore, becomes a complex interplay between past and present, external perceptions, and internal struggles, all conveyed through Eilish's evocative and poetic songwriting.